🕊️ A Letter I Felt to Write

 I’m sharing this on Mother’s Day—a day that reminds me of love, sacrifice, and the quiet influence of those who shape our hearts. This letter isn’t specifically about that day, but it comes from a place that has been changed by those same things. 

🕊️ A Letter I Felt to Write

(This is a personal letter I felt impressed to write. I share it here simply as a record of where I am, and what the Lord has done in my life.)

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Dear President Oaks,

I hope you will forgive a personal letter from an older member who has lived long enough to see both the beauty and the difficulty inside the Church he has loved.

I write with respect. Years ago I had the opportunity to be around you, even to play basketball with you at BYU, and I have always remembered that warmly. My roots also go back to Provo through my father, and I have always felt a quiet connection there. My father once told me he had walked to school with your sister. Whether every detail of that story is exactly right, I cannot say now, but it has always stayed with me as one of those small connections that make the world feel a little closer.

Because of that, I do not write as an enemy, and not as someone trying to tear anything down. I write as someone who still loves the people of the Church and is grateful for much of what it has brought into my life.

I am writing because I want my witness on the record.

Over the years, I came across things in Church history and doctrine that troubled me—especially regarding polygamy and teachings that developed after Joseph Smith. I will be honest: it was difficult for me. I felt confusion, disappointment, and at times even frustration. I began to understand why many sincere people step away.

My own son is one of them.

But he did not leave Christ.

In fact, he once told me that stepping away from the Church gave him more time to live what Christ actually taught—to serve, to love, and to act more directly in His name. That stayed with me. It caused me to look more deeply, not only at the Church, but at my own relationship with the Savior.

Instead of leaving, I turned more directly to the Lord.

And something has happened to me this past year that I cannot deny.

The anger I once felt has faded.
The need to prove things has quieted.
The frustration has softened.

In its place, there is peace.

I feel more love for people now—even those I once saw differently. I feel less desire to argue, and more desire simply to follow Christ. The Book of Mormon has become more alive to me—not as something to defend, but as something to live.

The best way I can describe it is this:

The Lord has given me a new heart.

That is the reason I am writing.

Not to correct.
Not to persuade.
But simply to share what has happened to me.

In my searching, I also came across writings such as the Nemenhah records. I understand that such things may be viewed as apocryphal or outside accepted canon. I do not write to argue for them, but only to share the effect they had on me. They did not lead me away from Christ. They led me back to Him with greater sincerity, and back to the Book of Mormon with new eyes.

That has become my simple test for everything:

Does it lead me to Christ, or away from Him?  Is it "The Way"?

Anything that leads me to Him, I hold onto. Anything that does not, I let go.

I also knew Clayton Christensen years ago on my mission and in college, and I loved him. He cared deeply about why people step away. I have seen that in my own family. My son is not a statistic—he is someone I love. And I have come to feel that honesty, humility, and a simple focus on Christ are what help people stay rooted in Him, wherever they may be.

President Oaks, I realize I am one man, and this is just one letter. I do not expect it to change anything.

I simply felt that, before I leave this life, I wanted it written somewhere that I believe in Jesus Christ, and that I know He changes hearts.

I have felt Him change mine.

I do not write in fear.
I do not write in anger.

I write in peace.

And I write with hope—that all of us, in our own way, will continue to come closer to the Savior, and learn from Him directly.

Whether this letter is ever read or not, I am grateful for the opportunity to put these feelings into words.

May the Lord bless you with light, peace, and continued strength.

Respectfully and in peace,
One who has found a new heart in Christ