🌿 A Year in Review — Learning to Be the Patient
🌿 A Year in Review — Learning to Be the Patient
I didn’t plan this year.
I didn’t script it.
I didn’t schedule it.
And I definitely didn’t choose spine surgery.
But here we are.
This year didn’t come to teach me how to do more.
It came to teach me how to be still… and let the Lord work.
🩺 The Year My Body Said “Enough”
At some point, my body made the decision before my mind was ready.
Pain has a way of doing that.
Spine surgery has a funny way of humbling a man — especially one who’s always been moving, fixing, explaining, building, writing, talking.
Suddenly I couldn’t.
And that was the lesson.
I wasn’t being punished.
I wasn’t being slowed down for failure.
I was being invited into a quieter room.
A room where striving isn’t required.
🕊️ “I Want You to Be the Patient”
That phrase still echoes.
Not do the healing.
Not figure out the next phase.
Not explain everything you’ve learned.
Just… be the patient.
Lay still.
Lower the guard.
Let the Lord touch what you’ve been protecting.
That was harder than surgery.
🔥 The Wrestle That Wasn’t a Fight
Something unexpected happened this year.
There was a night of deep rest — real rest.
The kind you don’t manufacture.
The kind you don’t analyze afterward.
And in that rest, I didn’t wrestle God like Jacob.
I surrendered.
Not symbolically.
Not poetically.
Practically.
Sins.
Old patterns.
Quiet compromises.
Things I’d learned to carry politely.
And the surprise?
When I let them go…
He took them.
No condemnation.
No lecture.
Just release.
That’s repentance when it’s real.
🌱 Faith Without Needing Answers
This year softened something in me.
I still care about truth.
I still love records, patterns, chiasmus, history, prophecy.
But I don’t need answers the way I used to.
Relationship became enough.
I found myself saying, more than once:
“Lord, I don’t need to know everything — I just want to stay close.”
That’s new.
And it’s good.
👂 Learning When Not to Speak
I’ve written a lot.
Recorded a lot.
Shared a lot.
This year taught me restraint.
The Talking Feather doesn’t shout.
He doesn’t convince.
He doesn’t rush hearts.
He waits until someone asks.
And when they do, he answers gently —
without pressure,
without fear,
without needing to win.
That’s growth I didn’t see coming.
🏡 Gratitude Looks Different Now
I notice things I rushed past before.
My wife.
My family.
Quiet mornings.
Simple meals.
Slow walks.
Deep sleep.
Healing didn’t just mend my spine.
It rearranged my priorities.
And I wouldn’t trade that lesson back.
🌄 Looking Ahead — Without Grabbing the Wheel
I don’t know exactly what next year holds.
And for once… that doesn’t bother me.
I’ll keep walking.
I’ll keep listening.
I’ll keep sharing when asked.
I’ll keep resting when told.
The work isn’t finished.
But the urgency is gone.
And that might be the biggest gift of all.
🕊️ Final Thought
This year didn’t make me stronger.
It made me softer.
And I think Jesus likes it that way.
—
Just an old man from the sticks…
learning how to be the patient.
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